Hello my loves! I know it's been about a month since my last post, I don't really have a reason for low-key abandoning this creative endeavor other than I've been working through a lot of things dealing with my mental health. Anyways, I am back and I definitely want to be more active with not just my blog but all of my platforms. In the last month I've re-started my YouTube channel and I finally created a TikTok account. I'm going to be honest and say that I've been tearing myself into pieces trying to figure out how to use these platforms, cue the closeted perfectionist in me, but I don't really have a plan for either of them except for two things. One, I want to be as authentically myself and as sincere as possible, and two, I want to post what I think is interesting not trends or what's going to get views or followers. I know these two things seem super obvious in hindsight but it wasn't until I turned on the camera and recorded myself for the first time that I realized how easy it is to fall into the trap of creating a "persona" that will perform well. I don't know exactly when or what I'll post but it's probably going to be pretty spur of the moment since that's when my creativity is at a high. 

Pursuing higher education isn't for everyone, which is understandable seeing as how long and tumultuous the journey can be. That being said, I have recently found that the most asked question I get now that I've graduated with my bachelor's is "what are you going to do now?" or "what's next for you?" It makes sense that the people around me would be curious and while I do have many long-term goals I tend to give a short answer to those questions and that's simply "I don't know."

We spend so much of our lives questioning who we are, what we want, where we should go, and the like. While we do discover new versions of ourselves through every experience we often forget the version who knows us the best, which is our inner child. 

The best experiences in life tend to find us when we least expect it. As someone who spends so much time mentally preparing for the worst, my most joyous moments have come in the form of unexpected and memorable chaos which has taught me to live life in the moment.