Pursuing higher education isn't for everyone, which is understandable seeing as how long and tumultuous the journey can be. That being said, I have recently found that the most asked question I get now that I've graduated with my bachelor's is "what are you going to do now?" or "what's next for you?" It makes sense that the people around me would be curious and while I do have many long-term goals I tend to give a short answer to those questions and that's simply "I don't know."
Earning my degree was something I had worked for my entire life, ever since elementary school when I began putting good grades above everything else. The accomplishment was worth it but now that I've had time to reflect I've realized that there were a lot of dreams and passions that I abandoned along the way in the name of academics because for me it had to be all or nothing. I know that sounds harsh, but it's true. I grew up with the mentality that I didn't have time to waste on socializing, having fun, or even just being a normal kid because school had to come first. This mentality got me through the worst of times but now that this chapter of my life is done, I want to go back and pick up where I left off on all those other dreams. For instance I always dreamed of writing a book, designing clothes or jewelry, or being a dolphin trainer. Along my healing journey I've realized that none of these dreams or passions died, they just evolved with me and something I've definitely taken to heart is that I can do anything, but I don't have to do everything.
This past month I've attempted to pick back up on some of my hobbies but I internally put this unreasonable amount of pressure on myself to be perfect at whatever it is right off the bat. At this point I think that I've simply forgotten how to indulge in activities just for fun with no specific end goal. So that's where I've decided to start, I want to learn to enjoy everything in life even the simple mundane tasks and how to have fun without having to be perfect. Needless to say I have a lot of personal goals and passions that I want to pursue during this gap year of mine because I do plan to pursue a master's degree hopefully beginning next year but there's still a lot of 2025 left and I want to use this time to live my life as a 22 year old and have fun doing it.
Now back to the dreadful question of "what are you going to do next?" I would say my complete answer is to find myself, have fun, enjoy my youth all while dreaming of the future goals I want to work toward. Obviously I don't tell people all this because more than likely they'll think it's all BS and that I don't have a plan, but I do. My plan is to live life day by day because I've missed so much just hyper-fixating on the future and while I can't get that time back I can make the most of the rest of 2025 and see where the universe takes me. Always remember that life almost never turns out how you plan it but that's okay because even though the unknown is terrifying it is much more interesting. So if you're lost at the moment, don't be scared because you'll get through it. Just relax and enjoy the ride.
Love always,
The Anxious Girl Boss
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